I was very sad when I arrived home last night. My son had already fallen asleep. He had been in his dream a few minutes ago before I parked the car. I looked into the room and found him hugging his bolster. My heart broke as I had not had time to be with him, to play, and to tell stories. When I moved him to our room, I thought of myself of how I did not do many things for him. He should have gotten many which dug his interests, his likes, and his abilities. I felt a failure.
This often happens to me and it turns out that being a mom is not as simple as people think. I have just read an inspiring article that people educate people to be teachers, mechanics, doctors, or even ministers but there is no such education for being a mom. You won’t find in any university a department that issue a diploma or a degree for being a mom. However, the real university from which come successful people is a family where the mom is the dean and the educators.
However difficult it is to be an ingenious and clever mom it is not something impossible. I realize that to be a mom I need to do more to my self. I need to educate myself, to read, to learn, to do the difficult process and go through the thick and thin and to find the best way to educate my son.
My remorse would be fruitless if I was satisfied with my own guilty feeling but did not do anything about it. Let’s move on and go through the process.